You know that moment after a big life event, not the good kind the bad kind, where life as you know it comes to a screeching halt?
That moment seems to then be the catalyst for a series of horrible events.
Nothing goes right, you fail at everything, you’re so much fatter than yesterday, and you look around and find you are ALONE…
Well except for all those strangers who started throwing their rotten food at you when you stepped outside your house…who are those people?
Or maybe for you it’s just a dark cartoonish cloud over your head that you just can’t shake. The moment you start to forget your troubles or THAT event, the moment you dare to crack a smile, that dark mass hovering overhead strikes unleashing a thunderbolt to your ass to make sure you remember that your reality sucks.
Let’s face it, it’s hard to stay positive and look for the silver lining with water pouring all over your face…and charred pants.
One minute you were King Midas, the next everything you touch disintegrates.
We weren’t expecting it. It was NOT on the Upcoming Events Calender, there was NO memo and if it were an event why didn’t Facebook send a notification?
We are unprepared and frankly shocked. I don’t know about you but when I am in shock, the wires don’t line up right and smoke starts to come out of my ears. The world starts spinning and I start waving my arms saying Danger, Danger, Danger!
After that mildly exhausting reaction, I crumble to pieces, make like a bear and hibernate with mint choc chip.
This thing that happened to us is so unexpected and overwhelming that we feel like our world has fallen apart.
The good news, yes there is good news, is that it is in your power to shoo that dark cloud away.
People will tell you there is a process to grief, there is and they are right but at the end of the day the buck stops with you.
As a wise and noticeably attractive man once said:
The problem is not the problem, it’s your attitude about the problem. Jack Sparrow.
He is right. You can either hide underneath that dark cloud or you can decide to heal and get yourself back on track.
How exactly? There is a multitude of things you can do to get there but none of it will work unless you are ready to accept that life is what you make of it and trust that this will pass. You CAN move forward and choose to grow stronger instead of diving into that jumbo bucket of donuts.
Here are a few things that have helped me along the rocky, pothole filled road to smiling again.
- Understand that this is going to take some time, if you were hurt, failed at something or perhaps lost someone dear to you. It’s going to take time. Yes I mean longer than a week.
- Forgive and LET IT GO, whatever it is, you can’t carry it forever.
- Take your mind off it by focusing on others, not to get all Dalai Lama on you but I find placing a smile on someone else’s face actually helps you just as much as it helps them.
- Travel if you can, they say sometimes you need to get lost to find yourself.
- STOP LISTENING TO SAD SONGS! You might have to get a friend to make you a special HAPPY playlist. I am serious, right now the radio is not your friend.
- When you are ready, find someone to talk to. You have friends, let them do their job. Also there are these people called psychologist, they get paid to listen to you and can’t run away. There is no shame in accepting help.
- Accept the fact that bad things happen to good people. You are not jinxed or broken or unworthy.
- Surround yourself with positive happy people, smiles are contagious.
- Don’t look to replace what you have lost straight away. If you are not ready, you might end up hurting others in the process. That void you are feeling will go away, resist the need to fill it with chicken wings.
- Now is a perfect time to reflect on who you are and where you are headed. Get your priorities right. Don’t let your idea of what your dream life should look like stop you from having the wonderful life you could have.
Know that you are going to be OK. Choose to be happy. Allow yourself to smile and watch that cloud evaporate.
The Once Lost now Found xo