There is fine line between sexy and hobo

sexyhobo

Is it just me or are men’s facial hair getting out of control? Sometimes I feel that there is some secret pact between men that we are not aware of.

 Whomever is able to hide a small animal in their beard is the king of the universe.

Only they don’t realise that we can see the blinking eyes from under their chin.

Also…I don’t want to kiss that, mainly because I am terrified of getting too close and losing valuable jewellery while trying to touch his face.

At first I thought perhaps men think that all women go weak over beards.

Then I realised that the beards have nothing to do with us and has everything to do with their mates.

It’s kind of like when you look at men’s profiles on dating sites. The fish shots, the beer can crush on forehead and the forever wild beards are all to impress their friends.

Dude you should check out my beard is so long and thick (TWSS)

When a guy who normally sports a clean shaven ‘oh so smooth’ face presents himself with a three to ten day growth it does things to me.

It’s sexy…there I said it.

Male friends, yes I have thought about it, so for the sake of our friendship you should probably keep shaving or I am going to want to run my nails through that.

The thirty-plus day growth is what I like to call the unemployed or extended fishing trip look. Some men still look quite attractive and others look depressed and like they are just waiting for death to take them.

The four month beard or any beard that touches your chest is essential for when you are hiding from the FBI.

Guys I am sorry but to me you look weird and older, so (sooo) much older. Seriously though,  what’s with the disguise?

Unless you are full grey and intend to wear a red suit in December the ZZ TOP look is never, ever a good idea.

ZZ Top

Recently I went on a first date with a man who had a full thick beard. I convinced myself that he looked distinguished. He was otherwise dressed well so he looked like a mature nice guy.  (I always prefer Smart and Funny over Mature and Nice but I am trying not to be picky.)

I can not tell you how much it bothered me when he couldn’t find the risotto that fell deep into the abyss of his facial hair. It bothered me so much that all I could do for the rest of the night was stare at his beard and imagine all the weird things that could fall in there. He was telling me about his day and I was wondering if it was wrong to suggest a trim. Then me being me, I wondered if I could plat it, which made me laugh at the completely wrong time during our conversation.

Yes I will take part blame for the awkward moment that created. My imagination can be used for good and evil but the other ninety precent was on (or in) his beard. It was distracting and I felt myself needing some distance from his bearded fashion statement.

To my male readers, I am going to make this so easy for you!

Sexy vs hobo (and just weird)

Sexy

Hobo or Plain Weird

Just in case, this still isn’t clear, here are a few more.

YES

NO and NO!

YES

NO, Funny but NO!

YES

Never ever ok…nope.

To sum it all up, gents if you are going to ‘beard’ make sure there are no small animals nesting in there. If you had to check then you then you are definitely on the wrong side of this list.

Yours truthfully,

A fan of the five O’clock shadow 😉

PS: The first photo in this blog is of Stephen Amell. I am going to admit at this stage that it was probably not the best example as he is most likely the only man alive that can actually look sexy as a hobo (or as Oliver Queen marooned on an Island with no shaving supplies for five years). *sigh*

Advertisements

4 Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s