Why do men always want the ones they can’t have? Why do we only want the ones who don’t know we are alive?
There are days that I am sure the universe is having a laugh at my expense. I know I usually pick on people I like so I am going to assume the same goes for the universe. In which case I will have to ask for my own safety, Universe, could you like me a little less please?
You are killing me.
After work the other night I had dinner with a friend. I had to ask my friend if my blouse was see through. It was not, I don’t roll that way, but due to the uncomfortable amount of male attention I was getting I had to check.
One man and his beverage fuelled courage approached me interrupting our dinner.
“I am going to go over there for a minute but then I am coming back here for you. You and me, we’re going to dance” winked Mr more muscle than his shirt could handle.
“Oh” I laughed “Thank you but I am having dinner with my friend, you should ask those girls, I am sure they would love to dance with you” I said pointing to the table of four perfect blonde waifs.
He looked over to them and said “I don’t want them, I want you”.
I shook my head and turned to my friend “When he turns around we should make a run for the back exit” I said.
He kept trying most of the night, it made no sense. There were girls that were throwing themselves at anything that moved. More than half of them weren’t the bright kind, they were the ‘Opps I didn’t know this was a tank top, I thought it was a just a super cute dress” type.
I was in my work wear and there is nothing alluring about me at work.
It makes no sense to me, he was this fit guy out for a good time and there were loads of easier, better looking, choices. He set his eyes on me, probably the only girl sober enough to see through his muscled exterior.
What is the attraction of wanting what you can’t have? I understand it to a degree, I have been there before, wanting someone who is ‘just not that into you’. I can’t however, wrap my head around the logic of men who pursue me when they are not free to pursue anyone, I am not referring to MrIMustDanceWithYouNow, no I am referring to married men. I don’t think I will ever understand that, nor want to.
I can completely sympathise with the attraction of wanting what you can’t have on a less romantic/rational level.
I have a friend who is forever pointing out girls with beautiful eyes. It annoys me beyond reason when he does this, no, I am not jealous, its really not like that.
(In fact I am actively trying find this lovely guy a date. Any single women in the Brisbane area interested in an intelligent, kind hearted, charismatic male nurse should send me an email with your photo and resume. PS: He works out)
My inner three year old self gets annoyed because he has never noticed mine. I know I am hilariously complicated. I think it bothers me because I don’t have legs that go for miles and I am not thin. In fact if they were to make a doll based on my image I would just say “No need to take a photo of me just design one that is the complete opposite to Barbie”.
There is nothing special about me physically except people say I have nice eyes. Its the one thing I have, so every time he points out some girls eyes in my head I am like “Pfft, compared to who’s eyes? I mean have you seen mine? You wouldn’t know nice eyes if they hit you in the face, you big jerk!”
Instead I smile and nod, poor man… maybe if he was normal and pointed out ‘their fine ass’ or their ‘Nice smile’?…actually no, I get nice smile too so I am sorry ladies you can’t have that either.
I am joking of course *shakes head*
My point is that my friend will never notice my eyes and it’s ONLY because he doesn’t, that I want him to. Well not now, not after he has read this. If he does now I wont be able to believe him.
Sidenote: Do not let the fact that he is obviously legally blind stop you from sending through your resumes to date him. He might be blind as a bat but I promise you he is a catch 😉
I think the problem with wanting what we can’t have, whether it is a car we can’t afford, a dream job you are not suited to, praise you are not receiving or someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you is that we only end up hurting ourselves.
Normally we (because it can’t be just me?!) do a lot of stupid things along the way ( A LOT) to get it and in the end its all for nothing.
Years ago when I moved from a Admin role to a Sales role I had a Business Manager tell me I was going to fail, he didn’t believe I had what it takes to make it in a man’s industry. I was apparently lacking the right equipment, and instead of pointing out that I did possess a brain, steam left my ears, had he met me? How dare he conclude that because I was a female that I couldn’t make it.
He set a fire in my belly to be the best I could be. I can’t remember wanting anything more.
I worked years at it, I made a lot of money and proved to myself that he was wrong. At the end of the day, although I loved kicking his ass, I realised I didn’t want to be a kick ass Account Manager. I got what I wanted but then I realised I wasn’t happy. I chucked it all in to persue something less shiny but that I love to do.
I think we get so caught up in the hunt or the thrill of the chase that we throw all reason aside. We lose sight of the important stuff, the long term, the lasting. The stuff that will ultimately allows us to be happy.
Instead we have unrealistic ideals of what we deserve, or we set ourselves up for a fall because we are not ready to commit.
Or even though we feel that we MUST have that car, subconsciously we know we really don’t want to work the rest of our lives paying off that one amazing ride.
It’s the typical now I have got it, I don’t want it.
I like the picture of Bart Simpson at the top of this blog. I like it because there is so much truth in it. It says Don’t Touch, so now its a challenge!
I must be growing up because now when I see a Don’t Touch sign, whether its in the form of a Wedding band on man’s finger, or an offer that diverts from the course of my heart. I don’t view it as a challenge, I heed warning and move along to something I deserve.
If you enjoyed ‘Do NOT Touch’ you might also enjoy https://todayonmysideoftheplanet.com/2014/07/07/the-romantic-the-dreamer-and-the-realist/