Legend has it that centuries ago, one of the many Saints named Valentinus was imprisoned for performing verboten weddings for soldiers. While serving time for his crime he healed the daughter of his jailer, Asterius. Some say that before he was executed he wrote her a farewell letter and signed it ‘Your Valentine’.
Thanks mate, thanks for that genius sign off. Your playful words not only enticed a tear (surely) from your sickly maiden but here we are many, many years later either loved up and loving Valentine’s Day or single and hating it.
People February 14th is just another day. Prepare yourselves as I am going shock you with some hard truths.
I feel you should know that your partner in life doesn’t love you any more or less on the 14th than he/she did on the 13th. Please don’t cry, this is a good thing.
The sun doesn’t t shine brighter on the 14th than it will on the 15th.
A fictional chubby archer does not ascend from the skies and fill the clouds with love solely on this day. Clearly he does that EVERY day.
The big red V day is just another day that commercially or traditionally happens to be a great excuse to show the person you love that they are indeed the person you love.
I am all for demonstrating love. Its a good thing to show another person that we care about them. It is something that we don’t always do enough of. Which of course is why when we are not honest about our feelings we are punished. Cupid makes sure we regret it, usually much later and usually in a big way. (What? You think because Cupid looks all rosy cheeked and cute that he is harmless? The dude carries an arrow. Don’t be so naïve, arrows hurt!)
Sometimes on days like these, people need to know that they matter.
There is danger in buying into Valentine’s Day too much, the commercialism creates pressure that can really mess with our heads.
Just because he didn’t get the day off work to flood your bedroom with rose petals doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t jump in front of a train for you…or if need be …catch a grenade for you…*sing it*
If you get a predictable yet beautiful single stemmed rose BUT Jess gets a shiny new ring, it doesn’t mean she is winning in life and you are losing.
This may shock you but the ring on her finger has no reflection on you or your life at all. Zilch, null, nada… nothing to do with you…at all.
Let that sink in and marinate for a moment. Inhale from your nose, exhale from your mouth, again, are you ok now?
Other people getting married when you are not getting married IS allowed and has NOTHING to do with you or your happiness. I promise you they are not zapping more than their quota of happiness. Its ok, ok?
Back to my point… Valentine’s day is just another day, I can’t say that enough (or can I?)
It is certainly not a day that should be used as a measure. His love for you or your love for him is not monetary so what does it matter how much money he spent on your gift? Your co-worker received a bigger bunch of flowers? Oh MY GOD…who cares? Your world is your world. Her world is her world.
It is not a day invented to make all us single ladies feel like lesser beings or like scaly monsters. There is NO evil conspiracy. (Chocolate and Flowers Vendors around the world – your secret is safe with me)
If you are in a relationship you should on this day AND everyday enjoy the person you are with and value them.
If I have learned anything in life it is that love shouldn’t be compared – it should be rejoiced. It shouldn’t be measured – it should be valued.
Today should be a day that you spend with people you care about. If you have found your partner in life may I offer you my congratulations, sincerely, congratulations!
If your dance card is empty and the space bothers you, go spend time with your friends or family.
Personally I don’t understand why I need a boyfriend when I have a wall to wall chick flicks? Who will make me fall in love tonight? Mathew Mcconaughey? Gerard Butler? Brad…no actually you’re the pitts.
In all seriousness I do hope you took five minutes today and realised that you are loved, you might not have received anything heart shaped or red today but that doesn’t mean you are alone.
Sure the ‘Eros’ type of love that we all crave would be pretty freaking fantastic on this day but not everyone gets to sit down when you play musical chairs.
However dear reader, you should know that someone out there feels either ‘Storge’ ‘Pragma’ or ‘Agape’ towards you and that love is just as strong and just as powerful. THAT should be celebrated. It’s also a pretty significant reason to be smiling right now.
I am currently working on a blog that poses the question – Can men and women just be friends? Speaking to several of my friends has highlighted to me that some people are not aware of the fact that you can love someone yet not be ‘in love’ with them.
That is another blog entirely but my point is this – Today is just another day to remember you are loved.
You don’t need flowers, expensive rings or to end tonight in someone’s arms to know you are special. You could be sitting on a plane next to a stranger, working a grueling shift or enjoying the next episode of Game of Thrones (not Games of throne as I am sure many many people confuse…right? No? Just me then)
Whatever you are doing today, do it with a warm heart and a big smile because if you look around and take the time to think of all the people that actually ‘LOVE’ you there is no way you can feel anything other than happiness.
With lots of Love,
From me x
PS: Thought I would share this clip, it made me smile. Love the old couple – too cute.