Short Girl Problems

short-girl

You may not have noticed by my profile picture but I am more like a can of coke where most people are like the 1.5 litre bottle.

I am …compact sized.

The mini muffin to your giant slab, wait that doesn’t sound right…but you know what I mean.

I am the girl that stops you at the grocery store and asks for help to get an item from the top shelf.

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I am the person you lean on at a party because my head is at the perfect armpit level…Guess which of your body parts is at a my perfect punch level?

I am the one you call cute when I am clearly looking sexy.

The one you elbow on the head at a concert and the one you immediately think to shove in an air vent when looking for a place to hide.

My petite stature has never been a traumatizing issue for me.

I guess I just don’t think life would be dramatically better if I were taller than most men.

I like that we are all different, so what if I am not as tall as the average girl.

The real tragedy would be if we were all the same size. I don’t know if I want to live in a world where my sisters would not only ‘borrow’ *cough* (steal) my clothes but also fit in my shoes!

Go ahead and laugh at how I struggle to keep up with you because my legs are shorter. Just like I can laugh at how you wish you could detach your legs on long plane rides.

long legs plane

Yes it’s funny that I can’t see the band, just as funny as people yelling at the giraffe that is blocking everyone’s view.

I think it’s safe to say that my hate of bar stools is equivalent to your fear of ceiling fans.

Admittedly group hugs are not fun for me. Top loading washing machines are down right dangerous and I have no idea why bathroom mirrors are always hung up so high.

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I may always look like I am hanging out with my Amazonian bodyguards but at least I can instantly ditch the jerk at the bar by disappearing into the crowd.

Sure there are downsides, for example from my point of view (no pun), the world is a much smellier place for the vertically challenged.

It’s more likely that I pick someone out of a line up because I recognise their shoes, bum, crotch or breasts.

Wouldn’t that be awkward…

‘Umm I don’t know, they all kind of look the same. Can you have them all turn around please? Oh that’s the guy, number four! He had that bubble butt thing happening. I remember it clearly.’

On the upside, it’s highly unlikely I am ever to be beheaded. I fit almost anywhere, yeah I’d love to see you try and smuggle your giant friends in a suitcase.

I can raise a hemline like a ninja and tree branches do not bother me in the slightest.

You see, it’s really not that bad.

We can date short or tall men. Oh and guys…yeah we are pretty easy to lift 😉

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Side note: That is only cool when you are dating. Please don’t think it’s ok to pick us up just because you can.

It’s easy to feel a little low (no pun, ok maybe a little pun.) when there are so many short jokes thrown your way but I don’t hear any songs about gargantuan’s? No yo, they be singin bout us shorties.

I can wear high heels without worrying about overshadowing my date.

Short skirts are never an ‘inappropriate’ length and we look forever young.

At the end of the day, size doesn’t matter. Your height isn’t a limitation, your attitude is.

Be proud, stand tall…well as tall as you can 😉 ….and be happy to be here.

With love,

Your more balanced friend.

… because my centre of gravity is lower

*Drops the mic*

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3 Comments

  1. This article made me smile, I remember when you borrowed my old car and I couldn’t get in cos you had pulled the seat forward. Just saying hi, it’s been yrs we haven’t spoken. Hope you are ok.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Really good hun just waiting to meet our lil munchkin in a few months lol we should exchange numbers later on to chat

    Like

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