You are holding on to a huge balloon that is bound to explode.
Its drags you along because the weight you are carrying keeps you low to the ground. You hold on tight to the balloon because it’s the only thing keeping you afloat. If you are honest you might admit you are afraid of what would happen if you loosen your grip, what if when you land you are swallowed whole?
The balloon is not lifting you high enough so you start running into walls, banging into buildings, and running into people.
It doesn’t occur to you to try and reach the ground because you are still moving, you are still floating, and for the moment, sometimes it’s the longest moment, you find you are getting by.
You accept your new normal because other than the grip on that piece of string there is no other effort required. Which is lucky because you don’t have the energy for anything that even resembles emotional exertion, right?
Here is the thing; you know full well that sooner or later that balloon has to explode. You will fall and the fall will hurt. To avoid that you keep on pretending that the balloon doesn’t exist…that all is as it should be.
The balloon will represent something different to you than it does to me. It could be a what or it might be a who. Only you know what it is. It’s that thing that you don’t want to talk about. You know that thing that you can’t move past because you don’t see a way over it. It paralysed a part of you that you just can’t manage to start up again.
Did it alter the rhythm of your heart to a slow painful beat? Or did it knock you so off course that you now have no idea how to come back?
Whatever it is, it meant a lot to you and now all you have left is this piece of string, that is attached to a balloon, that is dragging you around.
Through every gust of wind life blows your way, or any sign of trouble that threatens your day, you hold on. You have mistaken the stupidity of your groundhog day with being stronger than the wind.
Truth? All you are is tangled. You don’t realize that every knot makes it’s harder to stand up. Every gust takes you further out and makes it harder to find solid ground.
I understand. I’ve held a few balloons. We all have and that why you know what you have to do. You have to quietly do an honest recap of your situation and admit…
When you hold on to something that you need to let go of, you are allowing yourself to be dragged.
How do you land safely? Start by finding someone to talk to. Or find a way of expressing yourself. Let it out so you can let it all go. You might draw, you might sing, you might write. You might find a mountain to climb and scream out loud. Maybe you are a runner? Run then, run until you have come to peace with it. Find somewhere to leave it all behind and leave it all behind.
Open up and let go. When you do you will stop hitting walls, banging against buildings and running into people.
Let go or be dragged.